Friend

Love of another person, a strange concept for this stony fifteen-year-old heart. But talking to you at 8 PM through a screen, a little nervous and a little pleased, I want only good things for you, you beautiful and kind person.

You told me you thought it was cool that I was applying for college and that you never had the opportunity yourself, and I became more grateful for what I have. You told me you would cheer me on and I wondered how you learned to be so kind, when no one has ever been kind to you. And how is it that you have stayed kind, when even I have grown into this demon, having forgotten what loving someone else feels like until today?

Love of another person, and it heals me better than the six supplements on my shelf, clears my exhaustion faster than the six drops of drainage in the black bottle the doctor gave me. I feel calmer. The warm feeling fills me like warm light and suddenly I no longer need the daydreams that I fill my head with to keep myself warm at midnight. I hope that in that cold and lifeless land you feel the warmth too.

I am excited to watch you grow up. I am excited to watch a good thing happen to you. I am excited for you to fall in love with someone, and for that someone to fall right back in love with you, and I am excited for when these years of your life will only be a memory. Excitement for another person, a strange concept for this weary fifteen-year-old soul. But maybe it is necessary. And maybe I am learning it again. And maybe this is what every human needs, not just to be loved, but to love another too.

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